What's in a Conversation?

Submitted by Holly on Fri, 11/21/2008 - 1:16pm
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Flickr Photo: b_d_solisFlickr Photo: b_d_solisImagine you're at a cocktail party. Your friend introduces you to her colleague before heading off in search of drinks. You exchange names and occupations. What should you say next?

A) "Wow, that's an intersting line of work! How did you get into that field?"

B) "Yeesh! That line for drinks sure must be long. I'll go help my friend."

C) "Yeah, so the nonprofit I was telling you I work for? We're in the middle of our annual campaign. How about donating $25?"

Lately, when I talk about social media use by nonprofits, I've used this cocktail party analogy. I like it for two reasons. First, you never know who will show up at a cocktail party -- sure, the folks in your crowd will show up, but you don't know who they'll bring with them -- just like social media. The second is that cocktail parties are all about conversations, and all KINDS of conversations. And social media is all about all kinds of conversations.

When you host a cocktail party, you usually don't have time to linger too long with any one guest, so some of the converstions tend to be shallow "How are the kids?" kinds of conversation. That doesn't make them less meaningful; they're just quicker. Sometimes though, you spend a longer time with certain guests and get into deeper exchanges. Both kinds of conversations are valuable to you and your guests.  You may share resources ("I found a great babysitter in the neighborhood!"), gossip ("You'll never believe what so-and-so did!"), personal moments ("When my daughter's coach said she could be a star...").  

The key to driving value in either kind of conversation is listening: you have to hear what your guests are saying so you can respond with the approprite information, idea, and emotion.

As much as we know we need to focus on relationship building in this sector, too often our answer to the above scenario is C.

If you're interested in learning more, Nancy Schwartz has a great wrap up from the Marketing and Online Communications Forum that gives you nine solid tips for listening with social media better.